We departed at noon on Saturday and dropped Grace off with my pregnant sister, her husband, and her 3 kids. I knew my 9 year old niece, Anna, would be a tremendous help with babysitting. I felt organized and confident as I left Gracie in the care of the most competent mother I know, along with just one bag for overnight, and the diaper bag, Bumbo chair and her egg, which is actually called a SnuggleNest Sleeper Surround. I brought all her milks and a checklist I made that would ensure I would leave with everything I had brought. This list would help me to look super organized, too! I was proud of myself that I hadn't brought too much. Ha!
So then we left! Charlie and I traveled for a few hours on the way to Austin that afternoon. Guilt hadn't hit me too badly; I only cried once on the drive over...We stopped for jerky and apples like old times, and jammed some good old country music. We arrived at our hotel and hustled to get ready for the wedding that evening. It felt great to wash and blow dry my hair! Of the 2 choices I had brought, I put on the dress that looked the most flattering, and that was most appropriate for this lovely Austin-esque wedding. I knew there would be an element of causality to the wedding, so, I chose the neutral beige cotton dress. I wore heels not flats though, so that was a nice change.
We enjoyed the venue and the lovely occasion..The food was delicious, and the company was great too! I drank a beer and so Charlie had a few. I ran to the truck once to pump, and stared at photos and videos of Grace. I was really missing baby girl by then, but my sister had provided me with a great Facebook update and several photos, reassuring me Gracie was having a nice time with her cousins. I was feeling pretty good.
We both grew tired around 8:30 pm. Ha! (Of course...#old) We decided to hit up one other place then head back to our hotel. So we went to a Mexican food joint around 9 pm, shared a margarita, ate a second dinner, and talked about Gracie and some other things too, like life, our marriage, a second kid, people we know, etc. It was some really nice, interrupted quality time that we really needed together. Our plan for the next day was to have a nice brunch the next morning, enjoy a hike or maybe even some stand up paddle boarding on Lady Bird Lake, and then head to pick up Grace around noon for a 3 pm arrival. My sister had planned to take my daughter with her to church, then to lunch with them. It occurred to me Saturday night, that at this point, Grace might be wondering where Mom and Dad were. I felt a little sad.
The next morning (Sunday,) I woke up around 6:45 am and made the executive decision to forgo further out of town activities, and head back to get my baby girl. as soon as possible. I wanted to race home, nurse her, hold her, touch her sweet big head, tickle her toes, watch her laugh, and hug her so tight! This being away stuff is not for amateurs. It's rough! It's worrisome! And it makes you feel guilty! I started counting down the hours, then minutes, til I would see her. I'm sure my husband was annoyed with my updates, "Only 2 hours to go!" "Only 30 more minutes!"
Then, that moment we arrived at my sisters house to pick her up, (10 am,) I saw that sweet face, she was almost in tears and ready to eat...My sister had just heated her bottle. Grace saw me, smiled, then burst into tears, which sounds like something I'd do. I grabbed her, held her close, then fed that sweet, hungry angel. I love her so much. I'd missed her terribly! But, I'd made it 22 hours. I did great! I felt proud of myself for making it that long, without feeling too guilty for leaving.
This is love, people, deeper that the world's many vast oceans, stronger then hurricane force winds, and more tender than a perfectly prepared Wagyu steak. I now believe my Mom, all the times she's said, "You'll never understand how much I love you, til you have a child of your own."
I love my Gracie so much and I can definitely wait to leave her again.
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