Fit Thrifty Mom: January 2015

Did you have a birth plan? Did you stick to it? Read my funny post about my #birthplanbail

"You Told Me So!"

I just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl a month ago. Believe me when I say, I can’t help but think that, like most other moms – to –be in their planning and early parenting, my thoughts and plans were pretty dern cliché, but nevertheless, it makes for a funny story...

I was the epitome of the over planning, pre-predicting, weary and worrying pregnant lady who expected the worst when it came to child birth. How negative of me! I dreaded it and feared it so much. However, I had all the knowledge in the world, and opinions too for that matter, on a subject I knew very little about, having never been through it. I went into this wanting a natural childbirth, (or so I thought.)

I definitely wanted a healthy baby. Who doesn’t? Close seconds on my list of wants for my birth were NO c-section, and NO interventions or drugs. I didn’t want an epidural. I didn’t want to be paralyzed. I didn’t want to be laid up in bed, unable to walk around and manage my contractions in other positions, or use the restroom. I didn’t want the doctors using scare tactics to try to force me to have an “emergency c-cesarean” that you often hear about. I felt powerful and smart, and by golly, I was going to be in control of my birth! And it was going to be perfect!

Although I loosely considered a birthing center birth, it was never really an option for several reasons. For one, I couldn’t wrap my head around NOT being in hospital setting for the “just in case” and “what-if” scenarios. My husband would never have let me have the baby at anywhere other than a hospital anyway, and insurance wouldn’t cover it. So that was out! My fears about birth included PAIN, medical staff drugging me without my consent, taking my baby away to the nursery, so that I couldn’t do skin-to-skin, and of course, being tricked into thinking my baby was really in distress, so that they could perform unneeded major surgery on me, then bill for it, etc. I was having my baby at the Women’s Hospital of Texas, an institution with the highest c-section rate in town, (nearly 50%.) So I’d be really lucky to make it out of there uncut, right? Around week 30, I turned into a crazy person. These were my thoughts and fears. Everything was magnified by my raging hormones and increasing discomfort and impatience.

I admittedly and wrongly judged people prior to actually giving birth myself. I would wonder, “Why would she plan for an epidural, without just seeing if she could actually handle labor first?” After all, childbirth is the most natural thing in the world! It’s been happening since the beginning of time. I’d think, “Why would she pre-schedule a c—section? Just so she would know she’s having a baby on a Friday?” Other faulty judgmental thoughts in my head were “Why would she want to get induced? (Especially early? She should just let that baby come on its own…” Well, you never know someone’s story. You never really know the inter-workings and details of their health and medical history. You never know circumstances they might be facing. I’ll never pre-judge another woman now that I have been through childbirth.

In September of 2014, my rigid, and perfect birth plan was under construction. I was going to labor at home until time to push. (HA!) I was going to have the maximum amount of freedom possible once at the hospital. I didn’t want to be strapped down, so I was wanting intermittent monitoring and no IV. I wanted to be able to eat whatever the heck I wanted to as well. I was going to birth my baby with candles and mood music from my amazing and soothing push play list, all the while inhaling diffused lavender essential oil. My doula and my husband would both be there coaching me through labor and delivery. All three of us would be in shock at how far along I was when we arrived at the hospital and by how well I was managing my labor pains. I’d push the baby out in say, 2 pushes, because I’d been crossfitting for 5 years, and can back squat 200 lbs, so that’s all it was going to take. I’m a hoss, right? By October, I ran my plan by my doctor, who shared with me that he was uncomfortable with about half of its contents. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t agree to certain things. He kept telling me trust him and trust the process. I didn’t want to trust either, and instead, I just kept trying to be in control, buck the system, and just prayed to the Lord above that everything would be ok.

At 37 weeks, I even thought of finding another doctor who I felt fully supported my plan, but it was too late for that. My due date was December 23, 2014. Christmas came and went and I grew very upset. I was sad my baby couldn't use her little Santa outfits and that all the baby’s first Christmas ornaments I’d been given were labeled “2014.” Her “first Christmas” opportunity ship had sailed, and I was drowning in sorrow. I received an induction treatment at West University Wellness once my due date had passed, which included pre-natal massage, acupressure, acupuncture and a chiropractic adjustment. I was raping my husband, eating Eggplant Parmesan like it was going out of style, and was walking my tail off! I was trying desperately to get that baby out of there! Nothing was working. I grew sad thinking that on Tuesday, December 30^th, I’d have to be pumped with Pitocin and would have to be induced. I felt my plan collapsing…

But, the BIG collapse of my plan came on Sunday morning, Dec. 28^th, when I woke up at 3:45 am and my back was ON FIRE! The day before, it occurred to me that I was so uptight and anxious, what if I couldn't relax enough to push the baby out? Or was too tired from managing contractions to do so? Maybe I did need that epidural to relax and avoid a c-section?!?! These contractions I was suddenly feeling were truly awful and incredibly painful, and were close together. I was shaking and sweating and begged my husband to take me to the hospital. Bless his heart, he tried to help me stick to my plan, and labor at home. I wasn’t having it. I was in so much pain, and I was sure I was at, maybe 7 or 8 cm, and demanded that he take me to the hospital. We arrived at 6:30 am. To my dismay, I was only 4 cm dilated. At that point, I wanted my birth plan burned. “GIVE ME THAT EPIDURAL NOW,” because there was no managing this pain! My doula worried 4 cm was too early, and recommend I wait ‘til 6 cm. She sat me on the birthing ball and rubbed my back. That wasn’t easing anything. I needed to be put out of my misery, and really needed to get this show in the road. They broke my water for me, and then I got the epidural at 9 am. I then took a 2 hour nap, woke up, and put on makeup. A few hours later, I was ready to push, and I felt like a million bucks!

I had no mood lighting, no wonderful aromas, and didn’t eat for 20 hours. My baby’s heart rate did drop during contractions and pushing. A little part of was scared that they’d, at any moment , tell me I needed a c-section to get her out. But guess what? They didn’t! We managed her heart rate recovery with putting me on oxygen. After an hour and a half of pushing, (not 5 minutes, and by the way, that's 90 something pushes!) she was in my arms safely. I can’t explain the joy I felt in that moment. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I love her more than words could ever describe.

I also cannot describe the sense of accomplishment I felt after going through that! I labored naturally for 4.5 hours, and that is really all I could stand. Haha! At the end of the day, I am proud of myself. I actually did have the birth I wanted. I didn’t have to be induced, and I didn’t have a c-section. I was comfortable and safe. The staff was wonderful... And most importantly, my daughter came into this world perfectly healthy.

Giving birth to my child is undoubtedly my greatest performance in life, and people were right. It is SO worth all the pain and misery of pregnancy, (and discomfort of labor.) The best advice I was given was to “Just go with the flow.” I’ll also say don’t be too disappointed if you don’t stick with your plan. Childbirth is so very unpredictable and the doctors know what they’re doing. Do all the research you want, watch documentaries, read books, pray, etc., but try to keep an open mind, don’t judge, relax, and just go with the flow! Be smart and don’t get yourself into an unsafe situation by just trying to be in control. I am happy to say that after my experience, I have a renewed confidence in healthcare and childbirth in the hospital setting.

To all the people who told me I should be careful lifting all that weight and working out while pregnant, I had a healthy baby, and everything is fine. Can I say “I told you so?“ Haha! And to all the people who told me to chill out, and that I wouldn’t stick to my plan, “You told me so!” For sure.

Written by : Kelly Gerszewski

#FitThriftyMom

This is dedicated to 2 ladies who helped me to see it from another perspective...

Dr. Shannon Clark, my OB-gyn friend, (www.BabiesAfter35.com) my friend Kara Shane, who had a HECK of a pregnancy!

Pictured below is my gorgeous daughter, Grace, born on 12.28.14, 7 lbs., 14 oz., 21 inches long

#GracieLou